never tell a man ...

This is something I never told my husband. The night we met, the absolute very last thing, I mean the ultra-last thing I did before going down those stairs into that party, was that I drenched myself, I drowned myself in my precious COMPULSION perfume from head to foot--before I walked down those stairs and straight through the party into the kitchen.

One trillionth of one second later, he followed me into the kitchen, and started speaking to me about physics and the speed of light. Four days later (four dates later!), he informed me that we were getting married and the rest of it was just details. He then resumed discussion of his current invention.

I had invented COMPULSION perfume for myself in order to put myself and everybody else into exhilarating ecstacy just breathing. I wanted instant happiness for everyone around me because I am a happy son-of-a-gun anyway--and nobody else seems to be.

Instead of allowing others to depress me with their unhappiness, I wanted to elevate them to my happy state as long as I was in their presence. I discovered I had accomplished this with my COMPULSION perfume (which I had not yet named) wherever I went.

But proposal of marriage from the handsomest thing that ever walked the earth, was the unanticipated achievement of my life. My magnum opus.